The Way It's Meant to Be
by Ekanite
Summary: Zuko finally knows who he is, and everything is the way it's meant to be. But new and unwanted feelings have begun tearing at him- feelings that are very, very wrong. Set 3 months after finale. Gradual Zukaang.
1. 1: Drifting Apart

"That wasn't boring." Mai comments casually. She gazes up at her companion, waiting for him to respond. He doesn't. His alabaster features are luminescent in the night, allowing her to catch a glimpse of his darkened eyes and taut mouth before he inclines his head away from her. She quickly shifts her gaze to her brocade slippers, letting her shining dark hair hide the disappointment that flickers across her face.

He quickens his pace abruptly, disrupting the rhythm of their matched steps. Mai is tugged along for a moment by their linked hands.

"Zuko?" Her tone is flat; but there is an undercurrent of concern that only one who knew her well could detect. "Are you all right?" The straight line of her lips softens and her noble eyebrows arch, furrowing her brow. Only with him does she dare to lift her veil of apathy.

He turns back to her as if waking from a dream. His long fingers shift, as if just noticing that they enclose Mai's hand. "Yeah. Fine."

The familiar rasp of his voice still sends a thrill through Mai, but she shakes it off and stares at him skeptically.

"Really. I'm fine. Just…tired." He unlaces his fingers from her loose grasp and gestures vaguely. "Well, we're here."

"Oh. Yes." Mai finally tears her attention from Zuko and notices where they are.

She makes as though she is about to turn to leave, then changes her mind and faces him.

She places her elegant right hand on his scarred cheek, and nudges him so that he looks into her eyes. Her amber gaze locks with his golden eyes, searching vainly to find what clouds their depths. She caresses his cheek lightly with her thumb, then leans in and presses her lips to his.

His lips are unusually cold, having none of their previous fire, and do not move against hers. She feels his jaw tense. So she pulls away and opens her eyes, to find that he never closed his.

"Well… good night, Zuko." Mai closes her eyes as she turns away. She does not want him to see the pain swimming in them.

She does not look back, not trusting herself to. But finally, she can resist no longer, and glances over her shoulder- only to find that he has already abandoned her to the darkness.


	2. 2: Letting it Out: Shards 1

"_What is wrong with you?"_Zuko stares down at his hands. Their paleness is marred by an arc of crimson crescents across the palm. He clenches his fists in an all-too-familiar way, hissing slightly as his nails press into raw skin. "NO. Enough."

Zuko leapt to his feet and strode to the mirror. He surveys himself critically, taking in his sunken cheeks and hollowed eyes, and the almost deranged mixture of anger, despair, and confusion contorting his features. "What _is_ wrong with you?" He asks himself aloud, more softly than before.

Zuko continues glaring at his unkempt reflection, debating within himself. He seems to reach a decision, and the darkness shadowing his eyes lifts for an instant. "Yes. Of course."

Zuko snatches a gold-embroidered robe from where it is draped across a nearby chair. Shrugging into it unceremoniously, he sweeps into the hallway. When he passes, servants gawk openly at his unkempt appearance. Apparently, Zuko's lenience has made them forget Ozai's harsh regime over palace life. No one makes a move to stop or question him, although this does not prevent them from speculating behind their hands.

He reaches the place he has sought so feverishly, but is unable to find what he has come for. "Ugh. Where is he?" Zuko mutters angrily.

"What are you doing up at this hour?" The gently chiding voice of Uncle Iroh sounds from behind Zuko. Iroh resides full-time in Ba Sing Se, in a small room above his tea shop. He visits his nephew often, so often that he has reclaimed his old chamber in the palace.

"Uncle- how did you-?" Zuko breaks off, gaping like a fish.

Iroh smiles serenely and produces a teapot and two cups from seemingly nowhere. "Tea, Zuko?" Without waiting for his answer, he lifts the pot delicately and dispenses equal amounts of the amber liquid into the cups. He hands one to his nephew and takes the other, casually sipping from it. Steam wreathes around his wrinkled features as they stretch into a contented smile.

His uncle's familiar gesture is comforting. _Some things never change_. Zuko visibly relaxes, closing his eyes as he swallows the hot tea.

Iroh studies his nephew, taking in all that Zuko had seen in his reflection, perhaps even more. "Something is troubling you."

Not a question, a statement. Zuko reflects that his uncle knows him better than he knows himself. "It's complicated."

"Isn't it always?" Iroh's smile acquires a sad tinge. He doesn't prompt him to continue, but waits.

"I… I am happy. " Zuko stares at the floor between his bare feet. He only now notices that he is shoeless. He amends his sentence. "I _should_ be happy."

"Why?"

That one syllable unlocks something in Zuko's heart that has been longing to burst free.

"Everything's perfect! I'm Firelord, Mai and I are finally together…the world is at peace." Zuko blurts. "It's the way it's meant to be." He sounds as though he is trying to convince himself.

Iroh senses a name in the offing. His growing suspicions had finally been confirmed. "Yes… all because of the young Avatar." He says, so quietly that Zuko would have missed it had his senses not been so heightened by lack of rest.

"What's he got to do with this?" Zuko demands, although he could answer his own question.

"Zuko, there is nothing wrong-" Iroh begins.

Zuko flings his teacup at the wall behind his uncle. It shatters. "NOTHING wrong? Everything is wrong! Why would I- I have Mai! This means nothing! You know nothing!" Zuko shrieks madly. He scoops up a handful of the porcelain shards and clenches his hands in fists.

"Zuko- _Zuko!_" Iroh grabs Zuko's hands and unpeels the fingers, grimacing at the damage that the tormented youth had causes himself. He gingerly picks the sharp slivers from Zuko's palms.

Zuko is impassive. He has had too much practice at bottling his emotions until it is convenient to let them out.

The older man places a fatherly hand on Zuko's shoulder. "Come." He half-leads, half-pushes Zuko to sit on his bed. "Now. I want you to breathe. Just breathe. Collect yourself. And remember, Zuko, you are not obligated to tell me anything."

Zuko inhales and exhales obediently, looking slightly subdued by his uncle's unexpected reaction. "No. I… need to get it out of my system." There is a pregnant pause before he speaks again.

"She kissed me last night. Mai. I've been trying to avoid it. I was too afraid of what I would feel. Or what I wouldn't.

I never asked to feel this way. It just…happened. It's tearing me apart, Uncle. There is nothing right about these feelings.

We've never really had a great relationship… Maybe I should have worked harder on it. Maybe this wouldn't have happened. Maybe I'd still be happy. Maybe everything _would_ be perfect. Maybe we'd be talking about happier things now.

The thing is…I haven't loved her romantically in ages.

I've loved _him_."


	3. 3: Surprise!: Shards 2

**Author's Note: Gah, I messed up again, I didn't mean to repost that chapter. Please bear with me, if any of you have even stuck around. XD**

**The beginning of this chapter may be a bit confusing, but you'll catch on.**

"You know, I don't think I'll ever get used to this." Toph groaned, looking a little green.

"Relax! And I don't see how you can't love it. I feel so _alive!_" Aang yelled back euphorically. His expressive gray eyes were stretched as wide as his grinning mouth as he leaned into the wind. "Look, the city walls!" As he moved in his excitement, the

"You know, for murderous tyrants, they had pretty good taste in architecture." Sokka marveled while craning his neck to peer over Appa's barrel-like sides. The darkness of midnight was broken by patches of bright light. Even as high in the air as they were, they still heard snatches of raucous laughter and exotic music. The Fire Nation capital had long been famed to be the city that never sleeps, and it was certainly living up to its name tonight.

Suki giggled at Sokka's comment and leaned into his shoulder. "Yeah… it's a beautiful city." 

"Sure, talk about beautiful _sights_ in front of the blind girl." Toph grumbled.

Aang smiled apologetically, but turned back to face the front. "Looks like we're almost there!" He exclaimed. He pointed down to the ruby of the Fire Nation capital: the palace.

Aang squeezed Katara's hand lightly in his excitement. She shifted, her smile looking a little strained. Aang didn't notice, and was swooping in to kiss her cheek when Sokka cleared his throat loudly.

"Shouldn't you be focusing on steering?" Sokka pointed out, looking protective.

"Oh, right." Aang's pale cheeks were streaked with red when he turned back.

"Sokka, I'm fourteen! I can make my own choices." Katara snapped.

Sokka wilted under her glare, but still protested. "Hey, Dad told me to keep you safe!"

"Yeah, Aang's SO threatening," said Katara scathingly. "And he told you to protect me, not to _stifle_ me!

There was a pregnant pause as the two continued to stare each other down.

_Got to do something fast. _ The diplomatic skills that Aang had been honing for the past three months took over. "I'm glad we're finally here! This took forever."

Suki nodded. Like Aang, she had begun to fidget awkwardly the siblings argued. "Yeah, it's taken a much longer time then we thought. What did you tell him in the letter?"

"Uh…" Aang felt around in his roomy pocket, clearly sifting through assorted odds and ends."Here we go."

Suki's jaw dropped as Aang extracted a crushed but still elegant scroll from his tunic. "Oh no!" She squeaked. "You were supposed to send that to Zuko!"

"What?" An unpleasant jolt shook the airbender as he realized his mistake. "I'm such an idiot!"

"Finally, someone starts talking some sense around here." Toph smirked. "But really, Twinkletoes, no use beating yourself up over it, what's done is done. " She punched Aang's slender shoulder.

"Ow! How was that supposed to help?"

"That was supposed to be reassuring. I don't do hugs."

"Whoa!" All regrets were banished from Aang's mind as Appa descended.

The enormous bison touched down with surprising grace, his front two feet brushing the tile of the courtyard where he had chosen to alight.

Unfortunately, his delicate landing was not enough to appease the terror of a servant who had just emerged into the summery night. She screamed, astonished, and promptly dropped the tottering pile of dishes she had been clasping to her chest.

Appa, startled by the noise and unable to pinpoint the source, shifted his tree-trunk -like legs. A piece of the china that littered the ground pierced his soft paw-pad.

His passengers gripped his fur in confusion and fear as he began to thrash about. They had not seen what had happened to the poor creature.

"W-what's going on, big guy?" Sokka asked shakily.

"Appa?" Aang slid smoothly off the rounded side of his companion and told the others to do the same. He pressed his face to the bison's ear and soothed him, caressing his large nose.

When the bison stilled, Aang began to inspect him. He found the source of his pain and yanked out the offending object. Beads of blood the size of a child's fist bloomed at the area of the injury.

Toph took off like an arrow, somehow nimbly avoiding the broken dishes. "Gotta find that servant!" She shot back over her shoulder. "Hey- hey you!"

The servant stopped her mad dash down the hallway and turned. She gasped as she recognized the girl, most likely from the thousands of posters with her face on them, declaring her one of the conquering heroes. "Miss Toph Bei Fong!" She sank into an almost comically exaggerated bow, her pointed nose brushing her knees.

"Yeah, that's right. And I brought the Avatar and friends." Toph snarled impatiently.

"Oh! Oh! I am honored-"

"Yeah, yeah. Cut the drooling and get the Firelord."

"He may be aslee-"

Toph cut her off for the second time, with an irritable yawn. "Then wake him up!"

"That is not in my authority, Miss." The servant cowered, as if she expected to be struck.

"Fine, I'll do it!" Toph barked. "And _you _can go clean up the mess in the courtyard."

"Yes, of course." She scurried away unhappily.

Toph stormed down the hallway, until her keen ears picked up a whispering voice. She followed the sound, her feet sensing even the smallest of vibrations. Feeling for a door, she realized it was ajar.

"Zuko?" She called.


	4. 4: A Strange Reunion

Zuko exhales heavily and glances up at the older man. His face is brushed with the redness of shame, and he deliberately avoids eye contact.

"I suppose it was bound to happen. The endless chase, the consuming _obsession._ I hate that I feel this way."

Iroh finally responds. "Zuko, remember, the first step to letting go of these feelings is-"

The young Firelord never hears what the first step is.

"Zuko?"

The feminine voice strikes Zuko like a thunderbolt. He blanches as he stares at the slim silhouette at the door. "TOPH!" _How much did she hear?_

"ZUKO!" She mimics as she steps into the light. "Surprise!"

"Miss Toph! We were not expecting your company. Oh dear, I believe I'm woefully unprepared for your visit- Zuko and I just finished the last pot of tea," Iroh says. "I think I'll set some to boil."

"Thanks but no thanks, Uncle. I 'preciate the offer, but I think you'd be more help in the courtyard." She spins on her heel and jogs back down the hall.

She was navigating the halls merely by memory, but the two mystified men still had to break into strides to catch up with her.

Zuko and Iroh break into the courtyard a few seconds after she does. Immediately, Zuko has to fight for purchase. His bare feet slip about on the courtyard floor, which is slick with blood. The sight of the shocking red causes Zuko to reel back in horror, which doesn't exactly help him gain footing. "Whoa!" Zuko loses all control and careens forward. He only spots vague flashes of blue and yellow before he impacts.

"Hiya, Sifu Hotman!" The object he struck says cheerfully. "Now, do you mind getting off of me?"

Zuko blushes furiously when he realizes who he has landed on. "A-aang? What are you doing here?" He shifts off of him and tries to avoid staring as the Avatar gets up and brushes himself off.

"Came to see you! Surprise!" Aang grins at him.

Zuko stops breathing. _Agni. _He didn't know why he had been dreading their union, he felt like he was soaring. A stupid grin to match Aang's threatens to spread across his face, but he subdues it into a barely perceptible twitch at the corner of his mouth. "Are the others with you?" A normal person would ask this, a person whose mind wasn't consumed by the thoughts of one sole boy. He still avoids eye contact, absurdly fearing that Aang would see the more-than-friendly feelings in his eyes.

"Yeah, Sokka's right-"

"Zuko!" Sokka shouts. He throws a lean arm around the taller youth's shoulders. "Let's go inside. I think Suki and Katara are already heading that way." He says as he jerks a thumb backwards.

Zuko almost grins for the second time that night at Sokka's endearingly familiar tone. "Sure." 

"Just hold on a sec." A tearing sound rents the air.

Zuko can't help but look in Aang's direction, and his breath catches again. The airbender has ripped a wide strip of fabric from his shirt. A stripe of pale midriff is exposed, a _tantalizing_ stripe of pale midriff. Aang kneels and ties the strip around Appa's foot. _Don'tstaredon'tstaredon'tstare… _If he could deny his feelings earlier, it was impossible to deny them now.

Aang feels at his back. When his hand comes away, it is sticky with a film of blood. He makes a face at it, then abruptly yanks his shirt up and off.

_Of course. _

Sokka saved Zuko unintentionally when he grabs his arm and tows him behind. "Come _on_! Aang can catch up."

"No-wait. Hey, you!" Zuko yells to a servant that is cowering in the corner. He's not in a polite mood. "See that the bison is stabled!"

"Of course, Your Highness." She squeaks. She begins to tentatively approach Appa, who regards her with a faintly amused air.

They enter the palace, Sokka examining the elaborate architecture by the light from his swinging lantern.

Suki and Katara are sitting at a small circular table just off the entryway, chatting with Iroh. Aang reaches them and flops down beside Katara, while Sokka positions himself between Suki and Iroh.

Zuko takes the last chair, between Aang and his uncle.

There is an oddly comfortable silence as the friends look at each other. Aang is the first to break it. "Wow, Zuko, you look terrible!"

Zuko is obligated to look at him. He has changed so little, and yet so much. Aang's skin is a shade more golden, his tattoos are a shade darker, his cheeks are a shade sharper. His eyes shine as bright as ever, even though they have acquired new depths. Zuko's gaze trails down to Aang's arms. Their lithe muscles are more prominent, and what he can see of his torso appears to have a defined V-shape. _You look amazing._

Zuko starts as he realizes that they are all looking expectantly at him, waiting for an answer that he has forgotten to give. He settles on a neutral "yeah".

"Have you been sleeping okay?" Katara fusses, her blue eyes brimming with worry.

A tic jumps in Zuko's cheek. He has always found the waterbender's desire to mother them all incredibly irritating. "Just a lot on my mind." He says shortly.

"A lot's been going on for me, too." Aang adds. "I'm really glad we decided to come. I think we all need some time to relax."

"Speaking of relaxing… I have taken the liberty to arrange rooms for you. They should be ready in a few minutes, and then we can all turn in." Iroh pours more tea for each of them.

"I'm not going to sleep." Toph scoffs. "At least you guys were on your own schedules! My parents made me go to bed at _sundown_."

"All that excitement's kinda woken me up, too." Aang agrees.

"Aang, you really should try and get some sleep." Katara admonishes.

"Katara, you're not his mother. Let the kid do what he wants." Toph snaps, voicing Zuko's thoughts.

"Fine. I was _trying_ to help!" She spins on her heel and heads to her room."Nice seeing you again, Zuko." She adds politely.

Suki and Sokka glance at each other. Sokka shrugs, grabs Suki's hand, and follows her.

"Your room's by Zuko's, Sokka." Iroh calls after their retreating backs. "Would you like to go change, at least?"

"I'm okay. I need my natural earthy smell, you know?"

Aang pretends to gag in Toph's direction. "Yeah, I think I will."

Once the airbender has left (Zuko staring after him subtly, of course), Iroh leans toward Toph. "Miss Toph, when you found us-"

"I didn't hear anything." Toph interjects, as if she has been waiting for the question. "Should I have been listening?" She asks conspiratorially.

"It's none of your business!" Zuko bursts.

"You know, that just makes me wish I'd eavesdropped." She smirked.

Zuko frowned and pinched the bridge of his nose. _No one can find out._

Iroh looks between them both. "I'll bring out the pai sho board." He offers, bustling off before they can answer.

"I know." Toph murmurs.

"You _know? _ But how can you? Sure, I blushed a couple of times around him, but I was so careful-" Zuko babbled stupidly.

"Actually, I didn't. Thanks for telling me." Toph's smirk widened. "I'm guessing "_him_" is Twinkletoes?" Toph looks thoughtful. "Well, your heart _was_ going crazy, and you _were _drooling a bit." She reflects. "Plus, all that chasing would have gotten to you."

"Oh, no." Zuko sank into himself. "This is terrible."

"Relax. I'm not telling them- I promise. And it's not that bad- it's actually pretty cute."

Zuko's red face was contorted in a bizarre mixture of mortification and gratitude. "You won't tell?"

"I keep my promises!" Toph said defensively. "But this is GREAT!"

"How is it great?" Zuko demanded, perplexed.

"I'll play matchmaker, of course." Toph said jovially.

Zuko groaned and flopped back, utterly defeated and exhausted.


	5. 5: Glowing Moments

**Author's Note: This chapter will be in third person omniscient, just so we can see into everybody's heads. It's basically filler, though. XD**

"Hey, I'm back." Aang announces the obvious as he steps back into the room, clad in a loose black tunic and matching trousers. "Why're you all red, Zuko?"

"Tired?" Zuko offered, said redness fading from his cheeks.

Aang scrutinized him. "Yeah, you look half-dead. Seriously, are you okay?" 

"I'm fine, really." Zuko insists, but much more warmly then he had towards Katara.

Toph smirks again, continuing to watch Zuko's reactions. _The poor boy couldn't be more obvious if he tried. _

Zuko shoots a glare like daggers in the earthbender's direction, but feels like an idiot when he realizes she can't see it.

Aang looks at Toph and then at Zuko, confused and curious.

"Um, so… how's life?"

"Busy and tiring, but gratifying in the end." Aang sighs. "I really shouldn't be taking a break, but I can't take this anymore. I know this my life now, but I'm only twelve…" In his gray eyes there is a plea for understanding.

"Those best suited for power are those who desire it least." Zuko murmurs, almost to himself.

"Wow, that was deep." Aang says, impressed.

Zuko feels warmth spreading through him at Aang's admiring glance, and a blush rises to his face again. He determinedly avoids meeting eye contact. "Uncle's quote." He clarifies.

"Oh." Aang nods. "So, how's life been for you?"

"Busy and tiring, but gratifying in the end." Zuko echoes.

Aang beams at him, and this time Zuko doesn't restrain his own smile. The two contentedly grin at each other.

After a few seconds of this, Zuko's jaw and cheeks begin to ache with the unusual strain put on them. He resumes a more neutral facial expression and rubs the area around his mouth ruefully. "Ouch."

"You're out of practice. Don't worry, I'll fix that." Aang pats Zuko on the back.

"I've missed you, Aang." Zuko admits softly.

"Aw, the big tough Firelord has feelings!" Toph coos.

"Don't push it." Zuko mock-growls. He picks up his forgotten tea, a little cold, and sips it.

"So, _Firelord_ Zuko… up for a game of pai sho? Let's see if you have your uncle's skills." The gray of Aang's eyes dances playfully as he smirks at his would-be opponent.

"Ready when you are, _Avatar_ Aang." Zuko shoots back, fingering an engraved tile.

Toph settles back in her chair. "How _exciting_."

Zuko watches the warm yellow of the lantern light play in those stormy eyes, delights when his hand accidentally brushes the airbender's as they play, revels in this precious time they have together.

_Something this wrong has never felt so right._


End file.
